Thoughts For Parents: Talking to Your Kids about Salvation by Angie Fuller
After sharing thoughts on baptism last week, I’m following up with ideas for talking about salvation with children. I must name that I have not had formal theological training. My thoughts here arise from decades of learning from the Bible, a variety of theologians and wise laypeople – past and present, as well as my own experiences, observations, and mistakes. I just want to share three of my biggest concerns about how salvation is often described, along with suggestions for different language to use with kids. You may disagree, and that’s OK.
Concern: We skip critical parts of God’s story when we start with sin and end with Jesus’ death. For example, “What are some bad things you do?... Those are sins. They make God sad and separate us from God. But Jesus died on the cross to take away your sins.” But the Bible doesn’t start at Genesis 3 and end at John 19 with Jesus in the tomb. Also – the Bible is clear that God never leaves us.
A different idea: God created the world and humans to be completely good (Gen. 1), and God loved all of it! But the world didn’t stay that way. Humans mess it up by making choices that are selfish, unkind, and hurtful. And the world has scary things like cancer, war, and hurricanes. But God has never stopped loving the world and each of us. God sent Jesus to show us what God’s goodness looks like. It’s hard to understand the reasons why Jesus died, but because he died, we can trust that God will always forgive us for our bad choices. And one day when God makes all things new, everyone and everything will all be good again (Rev. 21).
Concern: We make salvation transactional or use fear as a motivator. For example, “Believe in Jesus so you don’t go to hell.” Or “If you believe Jesus is Lord, then when you die, you’ll go to heaven to live with him forever.” The word itself does mean being rescued from peril, but something that’s salvaged is also repurposed. It’s more than confirming our eternal future.
A different idea: God loves you so much and wants to be with you forever. That’s why God has a plan to one day restore everything God created. However, when we choose to follow Jesus, we’re not just looking forward to that time in the future (what we sometimes call heaven); we’re also part of God restoring the Kingdom of Heaven on earth now. What does that look like? Jesus describes it in different ways in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, so we can learn from those books.
Concern: We make salvation seem like a “one and done” experience. For example, “All you have to do is believe that Jesus died for your sins, pray to God to forgive you, and be willing to turn away from your sin.” But this begs the question: so once I’ve made that decision, does it really matter how I act or speak?
A different idea: Whether we decide we want to follow Jesus slowly over time or in one sudden decision, there is usually a moment when we truly put our trust in Jesus and talk to him about how we want him to be the leader, or Lord, of our lives. But that’s just one point on our journey with Jesus. This journey lasts for our whole lives. Jesus said we make a choice every day to continue to follow him. He also said the two most important things are to love God and love others. Those require choices we make every day. God doesn’t expect perfection – God just wants us to grow and change for the better over time.
Do these ideas seem too rosy? I DO think everyone’s spiritual journey should include an understanding of how bad our sin and guilt are and how awful and unjust Jesus’ crucifixion was. I just don’t think those truths are best for inviting younger children into a relationship with Jesus that's built on love and trust. Would we encourage our kids to form a friendship with someone based on guilt?
Final thoughts:
This usually involves multiple conversations.
Keep it simple – based on your child’s development and understanding. You can always add more if they ask questions.
Affirm kids’ questions and doubts. Wonder with them. Acknowledge that there are things about God you don’t understand either.
Everything about God begins and ends with love.
You are not responsible for your child's salvation. The Spirit may use you in different ways, but let the Spirit work in its own timing.
Questions? Want to talk about these ideas with Angie? Contact her at afuller@2bcliberty.org.