No Idea What Was Coming by Amy Duncan

It was February when I was asked to write an April blog post in response to our Lenten focus on “dissident discipleship.” In February, we had no idea what was coming. What was really coming. We had no idea that our world would be turned upside down and that we would find ourselves retreating alone or in small family groups into our homes. We had no idea that we would walk through the days of Lent as though in a daze. We had no idea that we would celebrate and grieve and love and debate and agonize and pray and wonder and speculate completely isolated and yet oddly connected through keyboards and screens. We had no idea how much we wanted to hug our friends and our families and even our next-door neighbors. And because of all this, I find myself oddly connecting with the disciples during this Holy Week.

On Palm Sunday, the disciples had no idea. They had told Jesus that they understood what was coming in John 16:29-30, “At last you are speaking plainly and not figuratively. Now we understand that you know everything, and there’s no need to question you. From this we believe that you came from God.” Jesus did not seem to be convinced in verse 31: “Do you finally believe?” And of course, we know that they didn’t really understand. How could they? The triumphal entry into Jerusalem was all they had hoped for and prayed for and dreamed about. The Savior was at last ascending to his power! But of course, it was not to be—not in the way they believed it would be on Palm Sunday. They had no idea what was coming.

As we began the study of dissident discipleship, we had no way of knowing what was coming. We had no way of knowing that these strange days of Coronavirus self-isolation and social distancing would, in fact, be fertile ground for David Augsburger’s triune formula of dissident discipleship. In his book, we are encouraged to focus on self-growth and self-enlightenment. We are called to rely on God more deeply and to strengthen our relationship with him. We are challenged to reach out “horizontally” to show God’s love to our neighbors through service and compassion. Could we now be in a more perfect situation to do all three? Before this strange time, would we have actually carved out space and time to slow down, to reflect, to listen, to imagine, to re-invent? Would we have prayed and read Scripture and talked and LISTENED to God in the ways we are now? Would we have found so many creative ways to show love to each other? Would we have imagined that we would be called to sacrifice our own wants and desires by staying home so that we might protect others? Though I would never wish this on the world, I am choosing to look for God in it and to believe that he is indeed working for good.

And again, I am thinking about the disciples. Because in the darkness of Good Friday and in the sadness of Holy Saturday, they had no way of knowing what was coming. They simply didn’t understand. But Sunday morning changed everything. John 20:8-9: “Then the disciple who had reached the tomb first also went in, and he saw and believed—for until then they hadn’t understood the Scriptures that said Jesus must rise from the dead.”

Because we are on this side of the cross, we believe too. And we rejoice that God was with the disciples even in the darkness of those days of not knowing what lay ahead. Because we know that God was with them then, we trust and believe that he is with us now. We look forward to Sunday and to the joy of Easter. We look forward to the end of this suffering and to a new and better life on the other side. And we praise God that though we are apart, we are never alone.

The pictured hymn is to the tune of “The Church’s One Foundation.”