It’s hard to put ourselves in the shoes of parents living in places experiencing natural or human disasters. We can’t imagine their fear and weighty decisions, their loss, their need to lament yet still show hope for their kids… Sometimes praying for them feels insufficient.
But these are times when we can practice empathy with our kids – empathy that shapes prayers and helps us remember that God is in the midst of everything… everywhere.
What if I don’t pray well? There is no “right” way to pray. God listens whether we’re eloquent or stumbling, and the Spirit knows our hearts even when we can’t put our thoughts into words (Rom. 8:26).
What if I’m angry at the situation or even at God? That’s a prayer, too. It’s called lament. A whole book of the Bible (Lamentations), 40% of the Psalms, and other passages are dedicated to lament!
What if I want to protect my kids from devastating news? That’s valid, but if we never talk and pray about hard things that affect others, they lose sight of the fact that they’re part of a world much bigger than their own experiences. We don’t have to share details, but we need to offer the opportunity for them to practice lament. It will help them when THEY experience hard things down the road.
If you find yourself struggling to pray about hard things with your kids, here are a couple ideas that can be adapted to multiple situations, such as cancer, moving away, divorce, etc.
Brainstorm a list of all who are affected. In widespread wildfires, for example: kids, adults, elderly people, single parents, business owners, firefighters, helicopter pilots, hospital workers, pets, wild animals, city leaders, teachers, clean-up crews, etc. Each time you pray together, choose one category. Talk about what they might be experiencing, doing, and feeling. Model or let your kids offer a sentence or two asking God to care for them.
Or, with older kids, use a guided prayer such as the format below (based on content from Fuller Youth Institute).
Greet: “Dear ____,” or “Oh ____,” (Jesus, God, Healer, Spirit, Savior, Creator, Comforter, etc.)
Complain: “____ is not right or how it should be.” (Fires, Cancer, Bullying, Injury, Poverty, Racism, Broken relationships, etc.)
Trust: “But God, _______.” (I know you are near. You know the outcome. I will not be afraid. Your will be done. Etc.)
Ask for help: “Please, Lord, _______.” (Protect ___. Heal ___. Help me understand. Give ___ strength. Remember me. Etc.)
Praise: “________. Amen.” (You can do all things. You are strong and mighty. You are good. I love you. Etc.)